My dear S,
I want to write this in English because you know I think and type real fast in English.
I'm still at the very beginning of the exploration into the topics of "Who am I?"
Honestly, I cannot put all my "not-going-to-your-church" excuses on the kids although they are one of the reasons why I don't want to go. One of the reasons, as I'd pondered for the past 3 days, (thanks for your asking, by the way, it's an excellent opportunity for me to meditate & watch myself) - is the contradictory feelings I have towards "religions and belief."